Wonder
by ckret2
Summary: Itachi tries not to think about his massacre. He doesn't even remember why it happened. But now Itachi must find out why Tobi reminds him of the Uchiha clan, unless he wants to relive the massacre. This time, he and Tobi might not survive it. [Tobito fic]
1. Kainophobia

A/N: Huge thanks to my two betas, Dorku No Renkinjutsushi and Ricchan. Any idiocy left in this fic is my own mistake. Thank'ee for your help!

WARNINGS: This fic supports the Tobito theory, that when Kakashi and Rin left Obito, Zetsu found him (with amnesia) and raised him to be Tobi. There's also a medium amount of angst from Itachi, but no to the emotastic level. However, Tobi does not angst. Tobi is a good boy. Finally, for those hoping for Uchihacest, all I can offer is subtext.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or its characters. Kishimoto does. I only own this fic.

* * *

Wonder

I. Kainophobia

Fear of Novelty

* * *

Sometimes, Itachi wondered how Sasuke was doing. He didn't want to know about how strong he was getting, or if he'd activated the Mangekyou Sharingan yet, all things that Itachi really should have cared about but often didn't. He wondered if Sasuke was still in Konoha. If he was successful on his missions. If he was – Itachi didn't know what came over him when he thought this – if he was doing well, despite everything that had happened.

Sometimes Itachi wondered if Sasuke wanted his brother back.

* * *

"Itachi-senpai?! Hey! What are you doing here?"

"Shut up, idiot!" Kisame shouted. "And put your hat back on! Don't you know where we are?"

Tobi stopped running, still some distance down the road from Itachi and Kisame. "I don't know, Kisame-san," he said, perplexed. "Isn't this a forest?"

Deidara came up behind Tobi; Itachi couldn't see his face beneath the hat, but his voice sounded greatly aggravated. "I'm sorry he's an idiot," Deidara said; he shoved Tobi's hat down on his head. The bells jangled loudly. "He thinks there's something wrong with his nose, un. If he ever shuts his mouth, he thinks he'll die of suffocation."

"No I don't. That'd be stupid," Tobi said. Itachi wondered if he was really that oblivious.

"I know, un," Deidara said flatly.

The odds against four members of the Akatsuki meeting this far from their hideout were phenomenal. It didn't help that they were in the northern regions of Fire Country, traveling on a crude dirt trail through an enormous, uninhabited forest. Yet Itachi and Kisame had run into Tobi and Deidara traveling the other way. It was almost impossible. "What are you doing here?" Itachi asked.

"We're heading to Rice Field Country, un. Leader told us to see if we could find Otogakure before it moved again." Deidara tipped his hat back to give Itachi a suspicious look. "What about you, un?"

"Hunting a missing-nin at Kakuzu's request, to exchange for a bounty," Kisame said, curling his lip. "As if we don't have better things to do."

That, Itachi knew, was a lie.

"Aw, I'm sure he's just busy," Tobi said. He tilted back his hat so it was almost falling off his head, completely revealing his mask, to look at Kisame and Itachi. "Maybe we can help later. Right, Deidara-senpai?"

Itachi sensed Kisame tense up, and fixed his own eyes on Tobi, ready to attack.

Deidara didn't answer Tobi's question. In fact, he looked ready for a fight as well. "Nice try. Kakuzu would never trust someone else to get his money." He pulled out a kunai, to Tobi's bewilderment. "You'd better talk fast, un."

Kisame and Itachi relaxed. This wasn't the first time they'd run into potential Akatsuki imposters. So far, no fakes had seen past their tricks. "Leader gave us a mission in Waterfall Country," Itachi said. "We don't plan on sharing any more details than that."

"C'mon, you can trust us, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi said. Deidara elbowed him sharply.

"Shut up. It's because of you we almost had a fight, un," Deidara said.

"We what?" Tobi said. "When did that happen?"

"Never mind, un."

Itachi tipped his head back to see Deidara and Tobi better from under the brim of his hat. "Why are you traveling through this forest, then?" Itachi asked. While living in Konoha, Itachi had been on several missions in this area, which was how he knew his way through the area. As far as he was aware, neither Deidara nor Tobi had ever visited this part of Fire Country.

Deidara shrugged. "The idiot said he knew the way, and he lost the map. I can fly us out of here if we get lost, un."

"We won't get lost!" Tobi said. "Besides, I memorized the route we were taking, so I can take us back the way we came. See?" He pointed at his single eyehole as if that explained everything. "And I have been here before, Deidara-senpai."

Itachi was mildly surprised, not that it showed. Most of the time, it took him more effort to contort his expression into displaying an emotion than it did to just leave his face blank. He asked, "When?"

Tobi turned to Itachi. "I don't remember, Itachi-senpai," he said, "but I know how to reach Earth Country from here. Rice Field Country is just east of that."

"Just east of Earth Country?" Deidara exploded. "You're hopeless, un! We're heading in completely the wrong direction!"

"I'm sorry! What did I do?" Tobi asked frantically.

"Rice Field Country is west of Earth Country!"

"No, it isn't," Kisame said. He chuckled. "You might want to trust Tobi-kun on this one, Deidara-san."

"Un?"

In the end, Kisame had to give Deidara an impromptu geography lesson. While they talked, Itachi walked a short distance away, gesturing for Tobi to follow him. Something about Tobi's sudden geography knowledge seemed odd to him.

"Yes, Itachi-senpai?" Tobi asked. Itachi could practically imagine him beaming under that mask.

"Tell me, Tobi-kun. Which way is Earth Country?" Itachi asked, then stopped, thinking the question too easy. "No. Which way is Iwagakure?" Finding the location of the Village Hidden Among Rocks would require even more precision than simply pointing towards its country.

"Um…" Tobi looked around the forest a moment and took off his hat to scratch his head. "It's… that…" His voice sounded far away. Slowly, he lifted one hand to point. "That way. No," he barely twitched his finger to alter the direction it was pointing, "that way. Right, Itachi-senpai?"

"Yes." In fact, it was much better than almost anyone else could have done. If Tobi could walk in a straight line in the direction he was pointing, he would just barely miss Iwagakure. He'd be able to see the walls of the village easily to his right. But the only way Itachi knew that was because he had used his Sharingan to memorize a thousand routes, and could navigate them all in his mind. How had Tobi done it?

"Where is Konohagakure?"

Barely hesitating this time, Tobi turned. "That way." Perfect. Itachi calculated that he was pointing straight through the center of the village.

"And Sunagakure?"

"That way."

With each question, Tobi's aim was perfectly accurate, until Itachi said, "Amegakure?"

Tobi's body stiffened, and he slowly lowered his arm. "I don't know. I've never been to Amegakure," he said. "I'm sorry, Itachi-senpai. I try to be a good boy…"

"That's fine, Tobi-kun. You did very well." For a moment, Itachi wondered why he'd bothered to say anything. He didn't care about Tobi's self-esteem. Deciding it didn't matter either way, he asked, "How do you remember the directions?"

"I don't know," Tobi said. "I always had a really good memory."

"Why?"

Tobi tilted his head down, and Itachi figured he was thinking. "I don't know that, either. Maybe it's because I can't remember most of my past, so my brain's compensating. That's what Zetsu-san said."

"Hmm." Tobi's abilities were unusual, and very rare. The only person Itachi was aware of with those abilities was he himself. He hadn't been aware that Tobi was an amnesiac, either. "Tobi-kun. Let me see your face."

"What?" Tobi was immediately defensive, on his feet and backing away from Itachi. His left hand flew up to shield his mask. "No! Zetsu-san said I can't show anyone."

Itachi didn't care. "Tobi, remove your mask. Now."

"I can't! Zetsu-san…"

At that moment, Deidara jumped to his feet, shouting obscenities, and kicked at a crude world map Kisame had helpfully drawn in the dirt. "Some teacher you are. I don't need your help, un!" he yelled. Deidara stomped over to Tobi, and grabbed his wrist. "Come on, un," he said, grabbing Tobi's hat and shoved it back on his head before tugging him off the path and into the woods. "We can find Rice Field Country ourselves!"

"Deidara-senpai, I think this is the wrong way!" Tobi protested. They were still arguing as they drifted out of earshot.

"They're not going to be working together very long, are they?" Kisame said. It sounded like a joke, but he wasn't smiling. He stood up, brushed a little dirt off his coat, and they set off once again towards Waterfall Country. "What do you think, Deidara kills Tobi first? Or Tobi gets himself killed before Deidara has the chance to do it?"

Itachi considered the question for a moment, and then shook his head. "I doubt Tobi will let himself be killed. His sight is too good for that."

"That's high praise, coming from you," said Kisame, and shrugged. "Either way, they probably won't be working together for long, huh?"

"We'll see," Itachi said, "sooner or later."

* * *

Itachi wondered, sometimes, what Sasuke would do if he found a third Uchiha alive. After all, it was quite possible that Itachi had missed someone; the Uchiha clan was quite large. Would Sasuke welcome him, as a new brother? Or, by now, was the entire Uchiha clan so dead to Sasuke that he wouldn't even acknowledge that another relative was alive? Would he see the third Uchiha as another Itachi?

Itachi wondered if he wondered about Sasuke because he was trying to figure out how he himself would react. Itachi understood his brother's mind more easily than his own. No one understood Itachi. Not even himself.

Sometimes that scared him.


	2. Ommetaphobia

A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews! Special thanks to the managers and staff of the three C2s that have included Wonder: Tales of the Red Moon, TeaLeavesGreen's Naruto Recommendations, and Till Death Do Us Part. I'm very grateful to you all! Also, a few people have wondered whether or not this is a completed fic. Far from it. It'll be very clear when the fic is over, don't worry.

* * *

Wonder

II. Ommetaphobia

Fear of Eyes

* * *

The Akatsuki's lair in the River Country wasn't what any of the members might have called comfortable, but it was secure. Although the main chamber of the hideout had been destroyed during Sasori's last fight, there were dozens of other small caves and platforms in the rock cliff face, enough for all of the members to pitch up tents and stay for a while when they didn't have any missions. It wasn't somewhere any of them wanted to stay for a long time; even so, their vacations never seemed to be long enough. Odd how that worked out.

Itachi and Kisame had claimed a cave for themselves several years ago, put in a few wooden beams to make sure the roof never collapsed, and permanently set up a tent inside to use whenever it was necessary. They'd even bought two extra sleeping bags to permanently keep in the tent (and on opposite sides, because Kisame snored and Itachi had nightmares), so they didn't have to unpack the sleeping bags they traveled with. For the moment, they had no missions, and so Kisame was in the tent rummaging through a crate that held an assortment of canned goods, looking for something edible. Itachi was outside the cave and crouched on the very edge of an outcropping of rock. Before him, the cliff face dipped straight to the ground.

Below him and to the left were the remains of what had been the main chamber of their lair. The collapsed roof had been haphazardly built back up by the Akatsuki members so that they could continue to seal bijuu, but none dared to go inside using anything except their astral projections unless it was absolutely necessary. Itachi let his gaze move away from the main chamber and glanced to the right. On another large ledge below Itachi were a few trees. Was that a person there, too?

"I found a vegetable soup that's only about a year old," Kisame called. Itachi and Kisame always wrote the dates on the food they purchased, since expiration dates were often set far before the food actually went bad and they couldn't remember themselves whether they'd bought a can two months or two years ago. "Is that okay with you?"

"Do we have a new pot?" Itachi asked, squinting at the figure below. It was a person, but Itachi couldn't see what it was doing.

Kisame hesitated. "Oh, right." They had melted their pot the last time they'd stayed in the tent. After that, they agreed that maybe regular firewood and matches were better for cooking than Amaterasu, the Mangekyou's fire jutsu. "I think we still have a frying pan. Maybe we can use that."

Itachi shrugged, not that Kisame could see from inside the tent. "That's fine." After a pause, he stood and said, "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Bring firewood," Kisame said. Itachi could hear him muttering to himself. Still trying to find the frying pan, he supposed.

Summoning a bit of chakra to his feet, Itachi ran down the vertical rock face, heading to the ledge with trees. Before he'd even landed, he could tell the person below was Tobi from his bright orange mask. As he landed behind him, Itachi realized he was practicing throwing kunai. A target had been carved in the trunk of the thickest tree, though the lines were laced with so many cuts that the target was hard to see. Twenty or so kunai were scattered at the base of the tree.

Tobi threw three kunai before he noticed Itachi's presence; every one of them bounced off the trunk without doing more than nicking the bark and fell to the ground. "Oh, hello, Itachi-senpai!" he said cheerfully. "Are you my new partner?"

Itachi gave Tobi a baffled look, which appeared very much like his regular look. "No," he said. "Why?" Had something happened to Deidara?

"Deidara-senpai says he can't stand me anymore," Tobi said. "He told me to stay here while he goes to Leader-sama and asks to trade partners with someone." He sighed piteously. "I don't know what I did. Tobi tries to be a good boy."

"I know," Itachi said, to prevent a potential tirade from Tobi about why and how he tried to be a good boy.

"Thanks, Itachi-senpai!" Fortunately, Itachi was spared a monologue. Tobi turned back to his target and resumed his futile practice.

Not interested at all in Tobi's pitiful skills (how had he gotten into the Akatsuki, anyway?), Itachi looked at the trees for firewood. One looked like it had been dead for a while, so Itachi drew two kunai, chose a couple of branches, and threw. The kunai pierced the dead wood easily and he walked over to pick up the two branches and return to Kisame.

Tobi, to Itachi's chagrin, had been watching. "Itachi-senpai! That was amazing!" Hero-worship gushed out with each word. "I wish I could throw like that."

Itachi stifled a sigh as he lifted the branches. "Then keep practicing," he said dismissively. Perhaps the general advice would be enough to brush Tobi off.

"Hey, Itachi-senpai, could you teach me to throw like that?" Today wasn't Itachi's lucky day.

"No." Itachi gave Tobi a flat look.

"Please?" Tobi wheedled. "I can't aim at all. I don't have any death perception!" Itachi didn't bother telling him it was depth perception.

Itachi shifted his Sharingan into the Mangekyou. It didn't waste any chakra as long as he didn't use it, but the threat should be obvious.

Obvious, apparently, to everyone but Tobi. "Come on, just show me once!" he whined. "I'm a fast learner. You'll only have to show me one time, I promise!"

"Fine," Itachi said. "Watch closely."

"Okay!" Tobi pressed his mask closer to his face, probably trying to see through the eyehole better.

Itachi threw one kunai at Tobi's target, and it stuck in the middle. "There."

"Thank you very much, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi said brightly. "I think I get it now!"

Itachi didn't care either way. He lifted the two branches and in one leap was on the stone cliff face, and prepared to run back to the ledge with the tent. But as he started up, the sharp clang of metal on metal echoed up to him, followed shortly by Tobi's groan. "It bounced off!"

Itachi stopped and whirled around, staring down at the trees. The kunai he had put in the center of the target was vibrating, as if it had been hit. A new kunai was stuck in the ground at the bottom of the tree. As Itachi watched, Tobi ran up to the tree, pulled out Itachi's kunai, and ran back to his original place. And then he threw it, exactly the way Itachi had, and buried it in the exact same spot.

"Ha!" Tobi pumped one fist in the air in victory, then turned towards the cliff face. He shouted to Itachi, "Am I good now, or what?"

Perhaps it was a trick of the sunlight reflecting off Tobi's expressionless orange mask, but Itachi could have sworn he saw a glint of red shining through the dark eyehole.

"Hey, Itachi-san!" Kisame's voice echoed down from above. "Where's that firewood?"

Without answering either Tobi or Kisame, Itachi turned upwards and ran back to the cave. He dropped the firewood outside the tent and ducked inside to speak to Kisame.

A single flare sat in the middle of the ground, shedding the only light in the tent. The inverse shadows, which made most people look like campers trying to tell ghost stories, only made Kisame's face and Itachi's eyes look freakier. Not that either of them were overly concerned with that. Besides, it's hard to look sinister when one's arms are buried in a dusty cardboard box.

"How much do you know about Tobi?" Itachi asked.

Kisame grunted. "Not very much." He was crouched down, still digging around for the frying pan. "Why? Is there something about him you want to know?"

"Probably not," Itachi said. If that little incident with Itachi's kunai had been luck, and if the flash of red truly had been a trick of the light, then it was nothing. But light had never tricked Itachi's eyes before. "We don't know anything, though, do we? Do you even know what village he's from?"

"No. The idiot doesn't have a forehead protector." Kisame finally extracted the frying pan from a box, and turned to look at Itachi. "You're talkative today. Did something happen?"

"Maybe." Itachi stepped aside to let Kisame exit the tent with the frying pan and soup can, then exited himself. "How would you feel if you found out another Uchiha was alive?"

Itachi couldn't tell whether Kisame thought the question was a complete non sequitur, or if he made the connection. Either way, he laughed. "What, your brother isn't bad enough?" He started breaking the branches Itachi had brought into smaller pieces, piling them up at the edge of the rock outcropping. "I might start to wonder just how many you missed," he said.

He bit into the soup can, tugged off half the lid with his sharp teeth, and had poured the contents into the frying pan before he realized what he'd done. "Sorry, Itachi-san," he said, quickly licking off his teeth.

Itachi glared at Kisame. As usual, it wasn't very different from his normal expression. "If I contract a rare disease within the next few days, I'm holding your saliva responsible."

"Whatever makes you feel better," Kisame said, grinning. He lit the firewood and held the frying pan over it, and after that the two fell silent.

* * *

Sometimes, Itachi wondered what would happen if he visited Sasuke, managed to make him forget about everything that had happened, and became his big brother again. What would life be like? Would Sasuke ever treat Itachi the same way, call him "nii-san" and ask to be taught how to throw a shuriken? But, no, Sasuke could throw shuriken by now; he'd probably rather learn techniques from Itachi. Or would he? What did Itachi know about the kind of person his little brother had become?

Maybe Itachi honestly didn't care about Sasuke at all. Maybe he just wondered what it would be like to have a brother again.


	3. Phronemophobia

A/N: Huge thanks again to all reviewers! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Any and all reviews will be met with great joy and squeeing.

* * *

Wonder

III. Phronemophobia

Fear of Thinking

* * *

Itachi woke up around three in the morning from a dream he couldn't remember. He could already tell he wouldn't fall asleep again. He was cold, sweating, and found that the Mangekyou Sharingan had activated in his sleep. Sitting up, Itachi deactivated the Mangekyou and waited for his heartbeat to slow down.

This wasn't a new occurrence. Dreams like this had bothered Itachi since he was eleven or twelve years old. He wondered what his subconscious was trying to tell him that was so important that his very dreams pulled him out of sleep, but so secret that they were locked back in his mind the moment he was awake. Perhaps it didn't matter. Perhaps.

He stepped out of the tent and was immediately hit with a gust of wind, blowing across the rock face from Itachi's right side. He shivered as the air made his sweat-slicked body even colder; all he was wearing was a t-shirt and thin sweatpants. Itachi walked to the very end of the rock outcropping, not afraid of losing his balance at all. He had to go do something, he realized. Now he just needed to decide on what that was.

Itachi had nothing to do when he wasn't on a mission and he loathed being idle, so he filled up his empty time with unplanned ideas and actions, anything to fill the time. He didn't like to think more than he had to. Prolonged periods of thought were not necessary for him, which usually meant he ended up brooding. There were a very limited number of things that Itachi could possibly brood on and most of them were unpleasant. So, Itachi decided to make breakfast.

It was early enough for him to run to a nearby village and get back by dawn. He was already awake with nothing to do, so maybe he'd get some eggs and ham for breakfast, rather than the stale dry cereal they always had. If he left some firewood by the tent, maybe Kisame would take a hint and start a fire to cook breakfast by the time Itachi got back.

With that thought in mind, Itachi ran barefooted down the rock face to the ledge with trees. Faint, blue chakra illuminated his footsteps, and with the moon barely a crescent it was the only source of light Itachi could see. But he could still hear, and as he neared the ledge he heard a repeated sound, like something chopping into wood. Was someone down there?

Itachi landed on the ledge and glanced towards the source of the sound. "Tobi-kun?" he said. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi turned around and jogged up to Itachi. "Good… um, morning? I don't sleep very much, so I came here. Why are you up?"

Ignoring the question, Itachi walked slowly past Tobi, looking at the tree he'd been throwing kunai at the day before. Something looked wrong. "Are you still practicing?"

"No, I had to stop." Tobi ran to catch up to Itachi, and then walked beside him. "I'm carving a new target," he said, gesturing at the tree with his kunai.

Itachi almost asked why. When he was close enough to see the tree, he realized he didn't need to. In the exact center of the target Tobi had been using earlier, a hole tunneled straight through the tree.

"I hit the center too many times," Tobi said sheepishly. "Now all my kunai go out the other side and fly off the cliff."

Itachi crouched down to look straight through the hole. It formed almost a perfect circle. He clenched one hand into a fist and pressed it against the opening, but couldn't push it through; the diameter was even smaller than his hand. How had Tobi done that when he hadn't even been able to hit the tree a few hours ago?

"Tobi-kun." Itachi stood and faced Tobi. His emotionless orange mask was turned towards Itachi but told him nothing. As far as he knew, Tobi wasn't actually looking at him. As far as he knew, Tobi didn't have a face. "Why won't Zetsu let you take your mask off?"

Tobi shrugged. "He thinks it would make people think I'm a bad boy. I don't look very good." His laugh resonated strangely from behind his mask, but even so Itachi thought he heard a touch of bitterness. "He's probably right."

"I doubt anyone would care that much about how you look," Itachi said.

"But Itachi-san, I don't look normal!" Tobi said. Self-pity crept into his voice. "I've got a bunch of scars, and my nose is crooked, and I'm missing some teeth, and I've only got one eye…"

"How did that happen?" Itachi asked.

"I don't know," Tobi said. "I can't remember anything that happened before I met Zetsu-san."

"Nothing?" Itachi pressed. "Not your village of origin? Your family? Your friends?"

"Not even my name," Tobi confessed. "But I think Tobi is close. Tobi is a good name."

What had happened to him? Itachi wondered. He didn't know why he cared. He shouldn't care, not really. It was none of his concern. But there was always the chance that his suspicions were correct. But.

But if they were, what would that mean for Itachi? How would that change his life? He didn't want to think about it, he couldn't think about it. He never wanted to consider what might happen if he was right, because he just didn't know.

Yet all it would take to confirm his guess was one question. Itachi knew exactly what that question was, it was on the tip of his tongue, just one slip of his vocal cords and the question would be out and Itachi would know for sure, one way or another, what Tobi was. And so, carefully, Itachi swallowed the words and nodded tightly. "You don't need to practice throwing kunai anymore, Tobi-kun," he said quietly, turning from Tobi, walking away.

"Okay, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi said. "Hey, can you help me with my shuriken throwing, please? I'm still not very good at that, and you're a really good teacher…"

"No," Itachi said sharply. Before Tobi could renew his pleas, Itachi leaped off the side of the cliff, landed on the almost vertical wall some twenty feet below, and used his momentum to run down the cliff and away from it. He didn't want to face Tobi again for a long time.

* * *

Itachi wondered about a lot of things from time to time; things about his alienated brother, his dead family, his former home. He almost never wondered about himself, because whenever he started, he would go do something else. Perhaps Itachi was a little frightened by the fact that he didn't understand himself, but it was human nature to fear the unknown and Itachi eagerly welcomed that little bit of humanity into himself.

If Itachi started analyzing his own thoughts, there might come a day when he understood his motives. Itachi never wanted to know about that.

Sometimes, Itachi wondered about Sasuke. He wondered what Sasuke would do if he found out why Itachi had killed every Uchiha alive except for himself and his brother. Itachi wondered what Sasuke thought, because it was easier than wondering what he himself thought.

Most of the time, Itachi didn't wonder about anything.


	4. Gnosiophobia

A/N: Huge thanks for all the reviews, and for the c2 that has added Wonder since the last chapter, Mai Faivoiraites! Also, someone asked about the definitions of the chapter titles. The definitions are included in each chapter, right below the actual title. Hope that helps. Please enjoy chapter 4!

* * *

Wonder

IV. Gnosiophobia

Fear of Knowledge

* * *

As it turned out, Itachi didn't bring back eggs and ham to make breakfast after all. Instead, he stayed in the village, located a grocery store with an unlocked door to steal breakfast from, and wandered through the streets until the sun started to rise. He was just considering returning to the Akatsuki hideout when he heard a familiar voice.

"Itachi-san? What are you doing here, un?"

Itachi glanced up. Deidara was standing on the roof of the house Itachi was walking past. He jumped down and landed next to Itachi. "And out of uniform, un," he added. "Special occasion?"

"I forgot to get dressed before I left the hideout," Itachi said. He had regretted it the entire time. The wind, unfortunately, had never let up.

"I never knew you were so forgetful," Deidara said, smirking. He seemed satisfied that Itachi wasn't an imposter. They were fairly close to their hideout, after all, and no fake would be stupid enough to walk up to an Akatsuki member without even the regulation coat as part of the disguise.

Itachi shrugged, and they started walking. He let Deidara lead, assuming that they were headed back to the lair. "I heard that you were trying to change partners," he said. "How did that go?"

"Not so well, un," Deidara said, sighing. "Leader said I can't trade because each pair is specially chosen to balance each other out. Well, except for me and Tobi," Deidara said. "He just stuck us together because I needed to replace Sasori-danna and Tobi needed a partner, un. I even asked if I could trade Tobi for you. It seemed like a good idea."

"Why's that?" Itachi asked.

He realized, a fraction of an instant too late to stop it, that the question he'd tried so hard to choke down had found another way to squeeze its way out of his throat and make itself heard. On the outside, he didn't do anything; on the inside, he froze in terror, knowing that he didn't want to know what he was about to hear.

"Well, it's a pretty even trade," Deidara said. "You and Tobi are worth about the same as each other, since you're both…" He suddenly glanced at Itachi's face, as if he could detect his emotions. "… un."

Itachi didn't react.

Deidara shrugged. "Anyway, Leader said you and Kisame get along too well for him to split you apart, un."

Slowly, Itachi nodded. "I see."

They traveled in silence for a while, switching only to running in long bounds once they were far from the village and no civilians were around to see them. Itachi didn't know if he had heard too much or not, but it was too late to pretend he hadn't heard anything. He couldn't force down his nagging suspicions anymore; if he tried, they merely forced themselves to the forefront of his mind, dragging with them too many memories. Sasuke, the clan, what Itachi had done, and worst of all, why he had done it. Why had he done it? If he couldn't force the thoughts down soon, he might discover the reason.

When the lair was just coming into sight, Deidara turned to Itachi. "Say, Itachi-san," he said; his voice sounded careful. "How much do you know about Tobi's sight?"

"I know he doesn't have any depth perception," Itachi said. Death perception, Tobi had said. Itachi didn't know why he remembered that.

Deidara laughed, surprised. "Really? That explains a lot. The idiot couldn't knock down a tree if he was in the middle of a forest with an exploding tag stuck to his butt, un." Deidara's creative skill as a demolitionist artist was only matched by his creativity when insulting Tobi.

There had been a very particular reason for Deidara to ask that question, and it had nothing to do with Tobi's aim. Still, Itachi didn't ask Deidara anything. If he ever needed to, he could ask Tobi himself, and maybe then the questions would leave him alone.

Itachi and Deidara slowed to a walk as they approached their lair. To Itachi's surprise (and dread), Tobi came down to meet them. "Hey! Deidara-senpai! How did it go?"

"Bad news, un!" Deidara shouted back. "The worst possible!"

A cheer from Tobi. "I knew Leader-sama wouldn't split us up!"

Tobi met them on the ground, half-staggering in the wind. It wasn't that windy, Itachi thought. How could anyone have balance that horrible? "Oh, Itachi-senpai," Tobi said, "aren't you cold like that?"

"Yes," Itachi said, as if someone was asking him if black was his natural hair color; yes, obviously, you idiot, why are you wasting my time with something so trivial?

"I'm sorry!" Tobi said, and sounded like he meant it. He started unbuttoning his own coat, saying, "You can wear mine if you want."

"It doesn't matter," Itachi said, walking past Tobi and up the cliff face. He had an opportunity, but he didn't want to ask the question right away. If at all.

Tobi followed, which Deidara was probably quite thankful for. "Hey, are you going to show me how to throw shuriken today?" Tobi asked. He sounded so eager; it was too familiar. A gust of wind caused Tobi to stumble and slide a few feet down the cliff face, and without thinking Itachi grabbed Tobi's wrist with one hand to keep him from falling.

"No," Itachi said, letting go once he was sure that Tobi was fine.

"Aww, really?" Tobi bowed his head in disappointment. The wind blew through his hair, making his short spikes even messier. He had, Itachi realized, the exact same color hair as his own, the exact shade of black that should only belong to two people in the world now.

Itachi could imagine the look on Tobi's face. It looked very young, and very much like his brother. He did something he hadn't done in over five years.

Itachi lifted his hand and, with two fingers, poked Tobi at the top of his orange mask, over his forehead. "Forgive me, Tobi-kun," he said. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Yay!" Tobi hopped once in celebration, and almost fell off the rock wall because of it. Itachi whirled around and ran the rest of the way up to his and Kisame's tent, ignoring Tobi. What had possessed him to do that?

Kisame looked up as Itachi ducked into their tent and guiltily pulled his hand out of an old box of some sort of generic oat cereal. "Where were you?" he asked.

"Getting breakfast," Itachi said, waving a hand dismissively at Kisame's lack of etiquette. "Enjoy your cereal. I ate."

"All right," Kisame said, digging back into the box to scoop up another handful of cereal.

Itachi looked through one of their cardboard boxes until he found a book he didn't remember reading recently, and opened it to somewhere in the middle. He didn't want to think about anything for a long time.

He would ask Tobi, once and for all, tomorrow.

* * *

That night, Itachi still didn't remember his dream, but something in his unconscious cracked and he learned something new.

As he woke up, heart pounding, flesh cold with sweat, arms and legs trembling, eyes wide and Sharingan spinning, he screamed.

"Sasuke, no! I swear – it wasn't my fault! I'm sorry."

Kisame muttered something groggily from his sleeping bag on the other side of the tent about Itachi telling his brother to come back in the morning at a more reasonable hour. Itachi stared into the darkness, panting, wondering what the hell he had just said. He lay down again, to think until morning.

How would Sasuke have reacted, if he had actually heard Itachi say that?


	5. Athazagoraphobia

A/N: Thank you all so much for all the reviews! I apologize, this chapter is almost criminally short. But the next one is going to be the longest chapter yet by at least 500 words, so I hope that'll make up for it! Also, someone asked whether or not this fic has any ties to my other fic about Obito and Itachi, "Shame and Fame." Nope, no connection; in fact, the two will almost contradict each other at points, heh. In the future I have another couple of fics planned about the Uchiha clan, and they also have nothing to do with Wonder.

EDIT: Also thanks to the c2 Who's a Good Boy? for adding Wonder. Apparently they added it between the time I wrote the author's note and when I posted chapter five, so I didn't mention them, eheheh... Thanks for adding Wonder!

* * *

Wonder

V. Athazagoraphobia

Fear of Being Forgotten

* * *

Itachi was down at the ledge of trees before Tobi was, just as the sun was rising. He'd show Tobi how to throw a shuriken, and he'd watch as Tobi imitated him. Based on Itachi's suspicions, Tobi would be able to copy his exact movements. And then, he'd finally ask Tobi, and find out once and for all what he was.

It was past lunchtime and Itachi's left arm seemed to have developed a tic by the time he finally admitted that Tobi wasn't coming. With his arms crossed, Itachi grabbed the fabric of his right sleeve tightly in his left hand to stop his fingers' twitching, and once he had his muscles firmly under control again he headed back up to the tent.

"Did Deidara and Tobi leave?" Itachi asked Kisame, his way of saying hello, good morning, and good afternoon for the day.

"Yeah. Leader sent them to get information on another jinchuuriki," Kisame said, packing his travel bag; Samehada was already strapped to his back. "He ordered us to get info on the Kyuubi jinchuuriki in Konoha, but not to attack him. I think Leader is trying to find a less conspicuous way to extract the bijuu."

"Hmm." Itachi knew, of course, he shouldn't be bothered by that information. He had no reason not to be eager to obey. But it meant he would have to wait to have his question answered. No matter: Tobi was already gone, so he couldn't ask anyway.

Itachi hadn't unpacked his travel bag since they'd arrived at the tent for their break. He took off his coat long enough to sling the thin strap of the bag over one shoulder – one of the reasons the coats were so loose was to hide anything the Akatsuki members carried with them – and then waited silently outside for Kisame to catch up.

After several minutes, Kisame came out of the tent. "Ready?" Itachi asked.

"Almost." Kisame was buttoning the flaps on the tent shut to help protect the stuff they left inside while they were gone. Not that it helped; several years ago, they'd found a black snake curled around a tin of tuna. Kisame still thought Orochimaru had been threatening him.

Kisame straightened up, and Itachi nodded. "Let's go."

It was two months before Itachi saw Tobi again. By then, he'd learned a little more about him.

* * *

Visiting the remainders of the part of Konoha where Itachi's clan had lived, desolate for years, made him wonder about himself more than usual. In this case, he didn't do anything to stop thinking. It was, after all, rather hard when you were surrounded by the place that had spawned your memories.

Itachi didn't feel like himself, walking alone through the streets. A few people had bought houses in the Uchiha sector, mainly the lower class, because no one else wanted to live there and the homes were cheap. Itachi himself was in a disguise – short brown hair, large blue eyes, a deep tan and loose summer clothes – and it made the whole experience feel like a walk through a fun house distortion of a famous landmark. Itachi had to remind himself several times that he was there for a very particular purpose, and it had nothing to do with reminiscing over the Uchiha clan.

Past the residential areas, a little to the north, were a few shops. West of the shops was a kind of general gathering place, just a small lot really, where there were no buildings and there was a marble platform in the middle of the lot. On it were carved the names of all the Uchiha clan members who had died in battle but had not been brought back and cremated. It was a memorial for those that wouldn't come home, to make sure they could never be forgotten.

Itachi wondered if someday his name would be added to the memorial. Probably not, since Sasuke was the only one left to carve his name. Unless it turned out that Tobi...

Itachi took note of all the names of clan members he didn't know personally. Some names he could knock off his list immediately; leaving off the females cut down the names by half, leaving off the names Itachi recognized and knew were quite thoroughly dead eliminated another third, and so on. By the time he'd taken away all the ineligible names, there were only eight left. Itachi could look for them and get more information on their deaths while searching through Konoha's files for information on the Kyuubi.

After memorizing the names, Itachi stood, turned to leave, and then stopped. Pulling out a kunai, he kneeled down, and along the edge of the marble where no names had been carved, he engraved "Uchiha Itachi" in jagged scrawling characters. He stood and left, watching his feet as he walked, heading to where he had last seen Kisame.

Someone had to make sure Itachi would not be forgotten.


	6. Syngenesophobia

A/N: By the gods, I love you people. Thank you so much for all the reviews! And special thanks to the five (five!!) c2s that have added Wonder: A random collection of fanfiction, Beautiful Disasters, Born Under a Bad Sign, Inspiration For The FanFiction Reader, and Worthy to be Read. Enjoy the latest (and so far longest) chapter.

* * *

Wonder

VI. Syngenesophobia

Fear of Relatives

* * *

Every now and then, the majority of the Akatsuki members had informal meetings without the knowledge of their leader. They were all members of the organization for various reasons, but those reasons didn't necessarily mesh perfectly with their dear leader's ideas. After all, only Kakuzu cared either way about economic domination of the world, and the fact that they'd be responsible for financially supporting the other countries afterwards didn't please him in the least. So the more ambitious members met, to discuss their own goals for the Akatsuki and make sure the leader wasn't taking them somewhere the rest of them didn't like.

Orochimaru and Sasori had started these discussions with each other when they were both members; it was just casual griping about the leader's policies that gradually grew more intense. Orochimaru had invited Itachi to join one of the discussions, who had brought along Kisame, officially turning the casual discussions into a slightly treasonous conspiracy.

When Orochimaru left the Akatsuki, Sasori started taking along Deidara, and Itachi had invited Kakuzu when he heard him griping about their leader's imprudent financial investments on shady information about the bijuu. Hidan insisted on coming with Kakuzu, and for a couple of years or so they had been meeting about every three months – Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Hidan.

However, there hadn't been a meeting since Sasori's death. He'd been the unofficial head of their group. Itachi and Kisame were starting to wonder if the meetings were over for good when they received notice from Kakuzu that there would be a meeting in the Land of Rain in four days. Itachi and Kisame figured the leader wouldn't be looking for them within the next week, so disappearing for a while would be fine.

Now, they were in the place Kakuzu had specified, deep within the rain forests of the Land of Rain. Even with their hats and coats, they were soaked to the bone. Kisame didn't mind in the slightest, and Itachi pretended not to. "These are the coordinates, right?" Kisame asked, standing on a branch as thick as four men and looking around. "I don't see the meeting place."

Itachi was standing under Kisame's branch, among the roots of the tree, sheltered from some of the rain by the tree's immense trunk. "We're in the right place," Itachi said, squinting through the rain. "But I can't find it either."

"Can't you use your Sharingan to look around and find it?" Kisame asked.

"The Sharingan is not the Byakugan, Kisame-san."

A flash of lightning illuminated the forest, and Kisame shouted, "I saw it!" He quickly leaped to another tree, and Itachi followed, until they had reached an abandoned brick structure half-covered in vines.

"Who chose this place, anyway? Zetsu isn't with us," Kisame asked, eyeing the foliage, before he found a window that the vines had broken through and climbed inside.

Itachi inspected the broken window as he passed through. It was stained glass, and the little bit that was left along the top and sides included black arms and legs with white decorations across the skin, and copious amounts of blood. Itachi suspected Hidan had chosen the location.

Sure enough, inside was the remains of a grand church, draped with curtain-like cobwebs and dirtied with various moldy stains of yellow, brown, green, and – quite suspiciously – dark red. In the middle of the ground floor was an enormous circle with a triangle inside. From the balcony Itachi and Kisame had stepped on to, they could see someone wearing the Akatsuki coat in the middle of the circle with a long weapon sticking out of his bleeding chest. Kisame yelled to him. "Hey, Hidan-san! Is anyone else here yet?"

Hidan's head turned, and Itachi got the distinct impression that he was trying to turn the two of them into sacrifices with the force of his glare alone. "Shut up! I'm prayin' here! Seriously, do you know how long it's been since I've been inside a real Church of Jashin-sama?"

"Not a clue," Kisame answered cheerfully, smirking. "Just answer the question and we'll leave you alone."

Hidan sighed the way only the follower of a tragically persecuted faith can sigh. "Kakuzu's here," he said. "Deidara sent a clay bird with a letter saying he'll be here with the idiot in a couple of hours. Happy?"

"Yes, thank you, Hidan-san," Itachi said, before Kisame could goad him again. He sat on the balcony railing, swinging his legs over it so they were dangling above the floor thirty feet below. The church didn't seem that tall from the outside; Itachi suspected that it was either partially subterranean, or the rain forest had grown up so much around it that the branches had formed a new, higher ground.

Itachi turned his head only far enough to look at Kisame from the corner of one eye. "We've lost Sasori," he said, "and gained Tobi. I suspect our meetings will be a bit different from now on."

"Probably," Kisame said with a toothy grin, leaning against the railing. "It might lighten things up. Sasori was always so serious, but Tobi..."

Itachi nodded and even managed to crack a small smile. "Exactly."

A door opened on the floor below and Kakuzu came in, grumbling about the rain and the cost of dry-cleaning robes. It seemed that Hidan had not informed Kakuzu that their new robes were machine-washable, as the leader had asked him to. Hidan demanded that Kakuzu keep out of the circle painted on the floor, using the kind of obscenities that Itachi had never heard back in Konoha.

Kisame sighed softly as Kakuzu leaped up to join them on the balcony. Itachi shared his partner's sentiments.

"Hello, Kakuzu-san," Kisame said, trying to sound polite. "Been busy lately?"

"Of course," Kakuzu said haughtily. "Time is money. I see you managed to arrive, Kisame-san, Itachi-kun. I hope it wasn't too much trouble to get here. The rain took us by surprise."

Kisame disguised a snort of laughter with a cough. "In the Land of Rain? What were you expecting?"

Kakuzu glared at him. "I don't see you with an umbrella."

"Who needs an umbrella in wonderful weather like this?" Kisame asked.

Itachi ignored Kisame and Kakuzu's banter and Hidan's morbid ritual. For once, he wanted to just think for a while. Not about the past, though; Tobi would be here soon, and Itachi was still considering how, exactly, he would approach him. Especially now that he might have guessed whom Tobi was.

A couple of hours later, they were still waiting for Deidara and Tobi. Kisame and Kakuzu were embroiled in a heated debate about, of all things, the relative merits of felines and canines. Kisame preferred dogs due to the fact that they were less likely to make a meal of any local aquatic life. Kakuzu was starting to retort with something about the cost to maintain a dog as compared to the cost of a more self-sufficient cat, when a crack and a bang echoed out from the other side of the church.

Dust and rubble rolled out from the opposite wall, and the three Akatsuki members on the balcony immediately tensed for an attack. A figure leaped forward from the dust cloud, somersaulted in midair, and landed in the center of the room with his hands planted on his hips.

He faced his audience in the balcony and thrust a thumbs-up at them. "Ha! I have arrived!"

Hidan looked at the intruder in his circle, dislodged his pike, and sat up with a roar. "God dammit, Tobi! I was praying!"

Tobi yelped and turned around, just as Deidara flew into the room, looking equally annoyed and riding a clay bird that was melting from the rain. "How many times," he shouted, "do I have to tell you not to play with my exploding clay, un?!"

"I'm sorry Hidan-san, Deidara-senpai!" Tobi shouted, backing away from both of them. He turned around and with four frantic bounds had climbed into the balcony and taken refuge behind Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu. "Please don't hurt me!" he yelled over Itachi's shoulder.

Itachi turned to look at Tobi, and only saw the left side of his mask. It was the closest he'd ever been to Tobi; he could see the individual strokes of black and orange paint on the porcelain and the small chips around the edge of the mask. Itachi found himself wondering who had made the mask, and how Tobi kept it from breaking in battle. However, in a moment, he should have much fewer things to wonder about Tobi.

Heart pounding, feeling excited despite his best efforts not to, Itachi greeted Tobi with a single word, a question. "Obito?"

"Yes?" Tobi turned to look at Itachi. Now, Itachi saw the single eyehole in Tobi's mask. He couldn't see anything inside. "My name's Tobi." He laughed. "You must be tired, Itachi-senpai! Did you have a hard mission?"

That didn't tell Itachi anything. Tobi had not directly denied that he was Obito. In fact, he had initially reacted to the name as if he recognized it.

Itachi looked away from Tobi. "Hm."

Deidara flew to the balcony and stepped off the bird. It looked muddy and rather soaked. No wonder it had taken them a while to fly here through the rain. "Let's just get this meeting started," Deidara said, licking mud off his shoes with his hands and depositing it back in his pouches of clay. "Who's going to head it, un?"

Hidan climbed over the balcony railing with a groan, still leaking blood from his chest. Tobi gasped. "Are you okay, Hidan-san?"

"Shut up," Hidan snapped. "If you get within striking range, you'll look just like me. Understand?" He waved the pike towards Tobi to make his point. Tobi nodded quickly.

Answering Deidara's question, Kisame said, "Shouldn't the member replacing the last head be leading the meeting, Deidara-san?" He was grinning widely, already quite aware of the answer.

Kakuzu was the first to laugh, a derisive bark. "Him? That'd be like the village's idiot being the eldest of its strongest clan."

Itachi realized that the statement might have been very close to the truth. After all, Obito should be older than Itachi...

"Let's go by seniority of membership," Itachi said. "Kisame-san and I have been attending the meetings longer than anyone else. Would you like to do it?" He glanced at Kisame.

Kisame shrugged. "I don't see why not," he said, standing up and walking to the window. He stood on the thick mess of plants growing through the broken window so he was slightly elevated above the rest. "Anybody have an objection?"

The others shook their heads; Tobi chimed in with "No sir, Kisame-san!"

"All right! I hereby call the meeting to order," Kisame said. "Let's get this thing started."

* * *

Itachi liked thinking about Tobi. It let his thoughts skim across his clan enough to satisfy the part of him that wanted to wonder about it, and distracted him enough to keep from delving too deeply into his own psyche. Itachi had realized that he was all too eager to use Tobi as a diversion.

However, there could be a point very soon where Tobi stopped being a diversion and became a part of all the things Itachi was trying to forget.

In Konoha, Itachi had learned quite a bit about the eight names he'd gotten from the Uchiha memorial. Five of them were of people who had disappeared over fifty years ago. One of the others was a mute, so he couldn't be Tobi. One had been held hostage by Iwagakure for two months, until a photo was sent to Konoha of his decapitated remains. The last was Uchiha Obito.

Obito had been crushed under a rock and abandoned, almost dead but not quite, during Konoha's war with Iwagakure. He had given his left eye with the Sharingan to a teammate, Hatake Kakashi – Itachi knew before that Kakashi had received the Sharingan from a friend, but had never considered that the friend might be alive – and thus Obito had only his right eye when he was left pinned beneath the boulder. His body had been thoroughly crushed, so if he had survived, he'd only be able to move with massive external braces. He'd worn his hair short and spiky, and was described in his biography as energetic, emotional, friendly, juvenile, and not very skilled with weapons.

In short, he sounded almost exactly like Tobi.

Itachi liked thinking about Tobi, but sometimes he started to think about what he would do if Tobi really were an Uchiha. He liked to imagine that it wouldn't change a thing, but he knew it would. The Uchiha clan had been dead to Itachi for over five years, with not even the slightest suggestion in Itachi's mind that he had missed someone. Even now, Itachi found it hard to think that there could be any others besides himself and Sasuke.

If Tobi were Uchiha Obito, would Itachi be able to think of him as a relative? Even though Obito, if he were alive, would be much older than Itachi, Tobi acted much younger than him. Maybe Itachi could become something like a brother to Tobi.

Or maybe he would kill Obito, just to finish the job. That thought scared Itachi, because he truly didn't remember – he had never understood, in fact – why he had killed his clan. He didn't believe his own explanation to Sasuke, that he had been testing his power. He didn't have any way of knowing whether he would do the same to Tobi, and Itachi didn't want him to die. He wanted to know, needed to know if he could be trusted around Tobi, or else he should avoid him all together. But he couldn't make himself do that, either.

Itachi wondered what Sasuke would think of Tobi.

Itachi wondered if Sasuke would kill Tobi if he knew he was an Uchiha, the way he wanted to kill Itachi.

Itachi had woken up screaming one night while in Konoha: "Don't let me do it again! Sasuke, help me!"

Itachi didn't like thinking about Tobi so much any more.


	7. Mnemophobia

A/N: Wow, over 100 reviews. I love you all so much. Special thanks to the three c2s that have added Wonder: Beloved Tales, Interesting fics, and The Best of the Best: Naruto Fanfiction. I would also like to say I love Kishimoto for chapter 364. If you've read it, you know why.

EDIT: Also thank you to Interesting Naruto fics for adding Wonder. Apparently, they put me up after I typed the Author's Note for this chapter. Heheh...

Please enjoy this chapter! I think you will.

* * *

Wonder

VII. Mnemophobia

Fear of Memories

* * *

The meeting ran long; they had captured several bijuu since their last gathering, and they had to spend a lot of their time getting Tobi caught up. In the end, the group decided to finish the meeting the next day so they could get some sleep that night.

That evening, Deidara was sculpting the remains of his clay bird into a bed. Tobi was talking as quickly as he could without swallowing his own tongue when Itachi came over.

"Tobi-kun."

"... so I think it tastes better after adding chocolate, don't you Deidara-senpai, because everything's better with – oh, hi, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi said brightly. "We were talking about barbeque." Itachi noticed a faint aura of killer intent coming from Deidara, and his hands were nearly gouging the clay bird as he formed it into a bed shape.

"I believe I promised to teach you how to throw shuriken the last time we met, didn't I?" Itachi said. "We have time now."

Tobi immediately stood up straight. "We do? Thank you, Itachi-senpai!" He dashed past Itachi, towards the window out. "Come on, it's not raining too hard!"

Deidara gave Itachi a grateful look. "You're a hero, un," he said with relief.

Itachi nodded absently, and followed Tobi outside.

By the time he got out, Tobi had carved an X on a nearby tree with a kunai and scooted back, pulling out a couple of shuriken. "Okay, I'm ready," he said, pushing his mask close to his face to see more easily.

Itachi drew one shuriken, threw it at the center of the X, and then waited for Tobi to throw his. He wasn't surprised when Tobi's shuriken slid into the bark so close to Itachi's that they almost looked glued together. "All right!" Tobi cheered, and turned to Itachi happily. "Thank you so much, Itachi-senpai. Deidara doesn't use shuriken, so I can't learn from him."

"It's nothing," Itachi said. "But would you do one thing for me, Tobi-kun?"

"Sure, anything," Tobi said.

"Show me your eye."

Tobi hesitated. "But, Zetsu-san..."

"I know," Itachi said. "At the very least, what color is your eye?"

"Um, red," Tobi said. "But not normal red. It's got weird little black things in it too. Like your eyes." He sounded happy to notice this. "I thought I was the only one with this eye color until I met you, Itachi-senpai. I bet it's really rare, huh?"

"More than you probably know."

That had to be – no, Itachi refused to believe it until he saw for sure. He walked towards Tobi until he was close enough that he could see drops of rain dripping off his mask. A burst of lightning lit up the rainforest, and Itachi could just barely see the shadows inside the single eyehole in Tobi's mask.

"Itachi-senpai?" Tobi still sounded so naive, so trusting, albeit a little confused. "What are you doing?"

Itachi lifted his right hand and cupped the left half of Tobi's face, using his thumb to press the place on the mask where Tobi's left eyehole should have been. The mask was pushed closer to Tobi's face, and in the dim light Itachi could even see the eyelashes of his right eye.

Tobi locked his gaze with Itachi's; it was too dark, Itachi could just barely see the whites of Tobi's eye. Itachi could feel his head start to grow light, his senses sharpen, his heartbeat quicken, as adrenaline flowed into his veins. Tobi's one visible eyebrow furrowed in concern. "Itachi-senpai, are you—"

The rest of his question was drowned out by a burst of lightning and a blast of thunder. For a fraction of a second, everything stood out in stark white and gray light – except for the one blood-red wheel in Tobi's eye.

Itachi inhaled once, sharply, and let the breath back out in what was almost a broken sob. "Tobi... Uchiha Obito!"

"What? I don't – Itachi!"

Itachi had transferred his grip from Tobi's mask to his throat. With his free hand he withdrew a kunai and pointed it at the center of the Sharingan, not thinking; his adrenaline fueled his movements for him. His own eyes brightened, the Sharingan wheels spinning and binding into the Mangekyou. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so overcome with any emotion before, and Itachi fell into it helplessly.

There were only two members of the Uchiha left alive! Itachi would make sure of that!

* * *

Every night, Itachi had the same dream.

He had started having the dream nearly two years before he killed his clan. Back then, it had been a premonition; now it was a nightly flashback.

In his dream, Itachi was bound by something he couldn't see, with his eyes stuck open and every sound echoing so he didn't miss a single scrape of metal or splash of blood. Itachi watched as he slowly killed everyone he had ever loved. He was trapped, every night, in his own mental Tsukiyomi until he woke up in terror. He never remembered; he did not want to remember.

Every time, the last person Itachi went to kill was his little brother. Trapped somewhere outside his own body, Itachi would scream at himself to spare Sasuke, and then yell and Sasuke to forgive him, to run away and save his own life, and to help Itachi and stop him from ever trying to hurt Sasuke again. He would always wake up before the blade finally descended on Sasuke.

For almost two years, Itachi had the same dream every night, haunting him and possessing him even as he killed his best friend, until the one time it became reality – but his subconscious pleas to Sasuke to save himself and someday save Itachi only came out as cold orders he himself did not understand, to cling to life and learn to hate. And after that night, the dream lapsed again into his subconscious, along with all his motives and his fear.

As much as Itachi wanted to forget the dream again, it was impossible when a Sharingan that was not his own or his brother's bore into his eyes. The careful defense he'd built around his memories was pierced by a sight that his mind had never expected to see again. The Uchiha clan was dead to him; he had no protection from something that shouldn't exist.

Itachi wondered what Sasuke would think if he knew what Itachi now knew about himself. Itachi wondered if Sasuke would accept him as a brother again if he knew that he hated Itachi the exact same way that Itachi hated himself.

Poor Tobi was in over his head.


	8. Thanatophobia

A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Special thanks to the c2 that has added this fic, Dark Syaoran's Approved FanFiction List!

I'd like to apologize for the fact that my version of the Land of Rain isn't much like canon's. I wrote this way back in spring. Perhaps the part of the Land of Rain that Itachi and the others are in right now is a different part from where Amegakure is.

Please review! This fic shall be coming to a close in just a few more chapters.

* * *

Wonder

VIII. Thanatophobia

Fear of Death

* * *

Itachi sat alone in the forest of the Land of Rain, far from any of his comrades. He had his knees pulled up to his chest, his arms wrapped around his legs, and his back pressed to the trunk of an enormous tree. Both arms were once again soaked with Uchiha blood, and his hands were trembling. In his right hand, he held the cracked remains of Tobi's mask.

His shut eyelids were throbbing and burning, and stung from the warm rain that fell on his upturned face. Beneath his eyelids, his eyes were dulled to black and searing with pain after having gone through a brutal cycle with the Mangekyou.

It would be quite a while before he could go back to the others, Itachi thought. Kisame, Deidara, Kakuzu and Hidan. They were probably starting to wonder where Itachi and Tobi had gone.

Itachi would probably have to stay out the entire night before he could calm down enough to make himself presentable. He shuddered, completely chilled by the rain. His Akatsuki coat clung to him roughly. If Kakuzu's rants about the vulnerability of silk clothing were anything to go by, then the coat was probably ruined. Itachi did not care in the least. He had larger things to worry about.

Things like all this blood on him – this guilt – that would not wash away. Like the fact that he was utterly alone again.

But he was not alone for long.

"I found it!"

Tobi landed on the same branch that Itachi was sitting on, rocking it slightly. Itachi opened his eyes a slit, enough to get a blurry view of Tobi's grinning, scarred face. Oddly enough, the right side of his face was laced with scars, but it was Tobi's left eye that he was missing; he'd covered the useless socket with a strip of cloth, since his mask was broken.

Smiling proudly, Tobi crouched in front of Itachi, holding a handful of dull whitish leaves with dark blue veins. "Zetsu-san told me these are healing plants," Tobi said. "You just put them on a wound and give it a little chakra and it helps fix the wound faster. He showed me how to make it work, too." He held out the plants like an offering. "Can I see your arm?"

Wordlessly, Itachi held out his right arm. Tobi pushed up the sleeve to reveal a deep gash from the back of Itachi's hand to mid-forearm. He scrubbed at all the blood on it with one of his gloved hands, causing Itachi to wince.

Tobi looked at Itachi, sheepishness in his Sharingan. It was a very odd sight. "Sorry. I was just trying to get it clean," he said.

"That's fine," Itachi said. He should have been trying to clean it himself when Tobi had gone, as he had promised to Itachi, to get some medicine plants. Honestly, Itachi hadn't expected Tobi to come back at all, and wouldn't have blamed him if he'd run off.

Tobi rubbed the leaves between his palms like he was trying to warm his hands up, and when they were pulpy and dark gray he lay them on top of Itachi's wound and pressed both hands on top. Tobi's hands began glowing faintly blue as he pushed chakra into the plants. He asked, "Is it working?"

Itachi could already feel the pain in his arm starting to decrease. "Yes, it is."

"That's good," Tobi said. After a moment, he self-consciously pulled up on the collar of his Akatsuki coat to cover the bottom half of his face, and then spoke. "Um, Itachi-senpai? Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

"Why did you stab yourself?" Tobi sounded more curious than confused. He clearly believed that Itachi had a very good reason for doing what he had done; he just didn't know what that reason was.

Itachi flexed the fingers of his left hand. He could almost feel the kunai still in his grip, as it had been only ten minutes ago. He himself had caused the gash on his right hand, the one that had held Tobi by the throat. "To regain focus," Itachi said.

Tobi nodded. "I bet it seemed like a good idea at the time," he said sympathetically. "Especially after that weird thing with your eyes."

"Hm." Tobi was right. It was because of the "weird thing" that he'd had to resort to such drastic measures.

Itachi had no doubt that, if things had gone on any longer, he would have killed Tobi. But before he could, his sudden slip into an instinctive attack mode caused his Mangekyou Sharingan to activate, and both Itachi and Tobi got pulled into an entirely impromptu round of Tsukiyomi.

It was almost like the memory Itachi had showed Sasuke of their clan's massacre, but within a short time, it became clear that Itachi was in a waking dream, the same dream he had every night. And if he and Tobi stayed inside the dream any longer, Itachi's killer instinct would cause him to kill Tobi while both their minds were still in Tsukiyomi. At the moment Itachi saw himself lift a blade over Sasuke, he stabbed himself and forced them both awake.

It was the first time Itachi ever remembered his dream. He still didn't understand why he had performed the attack, but at least he knew why he had saved Sasuke. Now Itachi understood himself a little better. He wasn't quite so frightened of his own mind anymore.

Soon, Itachi's arm was well enough that when Tobi rubbed again at the blood, it flaked off easily and without pain. The rain had kept his skin wet enough that when Itachi pulled his right hand back, he could wash his arms off himself. "Thank you, Tobi."

Tobi looked at Itachi, and appeared to be surprised at the words. Tobi, not Tobi-kun. "You're welcome," Tobi said softly, almost as if he were awed. He seemed to be quite pleased at Itachi's comment. Itachi couldn't believe Tobi even wanted to look at him.

Itachi stood, and though he didn't need help, he let Tobi hold him steady as he got to his feet. Then Tobi bent over and picked up his mask. Somehow while they were in Tsukiyomi, Itachi had broken it; the mask was in three pieces. Tobi studied it a moment, and wordlessly opened his Akatsuki cloak. He put the pieces of the mask in a pouch, and from a pocket pulled out a long roll of dark blue cloth. "I need to put this on before we go back," Tobi said. "I don't want anyone to think I look like a bad boy. Is that okay?"

Itachi nodded.

As Tobi started wrapping the cloth around his face, he spoke to Itachi. "Hey, Itachi-senpai. What was that thing we saw?"

Itachi hesitated. "What do you think?"

"It looked like a battle," Tobi said. "Except there was only one guy fighting the rest, and he kept winning. So, more like…"

"A massacre," Itachi finished coldly.

"I guess," Tobi said awkwardly. He was wrapping his face from the top down, and had just covered his eye. Itachi wondered, with some amusement, how Tobi would be able to see. It was the first time in months that Itachi had wondered about anything that amused him.

"That was you, wasn't it?" Tobi asked quietly.

Itachi did not hesitate to answer that question. "Yes. I was the killer."

"But you didn't want to do it," Tobi added.

Itachi blinked. His own brother had never figured that out. Kisame, though he had been Itachi's partner in the Akatsuki for five years, had not realized that. Even Orochimaru, who had taken great delight in trying to pick apart Itachi's mind, had never figured out that he did not derive the slightest pleasure from having killed his clan. Itachi stared at Tobi in wonder. "That's right."

Tobi nodded once, and some of the bandaging slipped down his face. He unwound it a bit and fixed it. "I knew it," he said. "Because you're like me, right? We both look bad and we don't remember how we got that way, but inside we're good boys. Right, Itachi-senpai?"

Itachi realized he was gaping at Tobi, and promptly stopped. "I doubt I'm still good," he said.

"I think you are," Tobi said firmly.

Maybe he was.

When Tobi finished wrapping his face, he pushed up a bit of the bandaging so he could see out of a slit in the cloth. "Okay, I'm ready," he said cheerfully. He looked like a navy-blue mummy. "Let's go! I want to show Deidara-senpai my shuriken throwing!" He turned and jumped two trees away in a couple of easy bounds, and Itachi quickly followed. "I'll have to get Deidara-senpai to fix my mask, too. I hope he doesn't fix it with exploding clay this time."

Itachi almost smiled. That explained why Tobi's mask never seemed to break, at least. He had an expert to repair it.

Tobi turned to look at Itachi. "Hey, what should I tell Deidara-senpai happened to my mask and your arm? I don't want him to think I'm lying, but the truth sounds too weird…"

"Tell him we were sparring and got a few injuries," Itachi said. "You hit me with a shuriken, and I broke your mask with a physical attack." Maybe that would make the others think that Tobi had actually managed to damage the infamous Uchiha Itachi in combat. Itachi wasn't sure why, but suddenly he felt the need to help Tobi, as if he were a child. With the way Tobi acted, Itachi wouldn't be surprised if he actually was still a kid – in terms of mental development, he seemed to be stuck on the same level as the records in Konoha had described him, when Kakashi and Rin had left him for dead.

"Okay, Itachi-senpai!" Tobi said brightly. "I can do that!"

"Don't call me senpai."

"Huh?" In his distraction, Tobi tripped over a branch he was trying to land on. He would have flipped over it head-first if Itachi hadn't caught the back of his coat. After straightening himself, Tobi asked, "What should I say, Itachi-sen… uh, Itachi?"

"You can say nii-san."

The elation that radiated from Tobi was so thick, Itachi could almost see it. Itachi almost immediately regretted the statement. "Sure thing, Itachi-nii-san! I mean, if that's what you want, Itachi-nii-san, that's fine with me, nii-san. Since you said so. Nii-san."

"That's enough." It probably wouldn't be long before Itachi was completely sick of the word.

Tobi looked up and pointed. "There's the church."

Itachi stopped on a branch. Tobi, oblivious, continued on inside. Itachi could hear Deidara's enraged shouts when he discovered Tobi had broken his mask.

He would have a lot of explaining to do to Kisame. How many members of Uchiha had Itachi missed, after all?

* * *

Sometimes, Itachi wondered what Sasuke would think if he discovered that there was another Uchiha alive, what Sasuke would think if he had a brother again. But now, it was just idle curiosity. He no longer had a need to analyze Sasuke in place of analyzing himself.

Memories and motives still lurked in Itachi's mind that he did not understand. Even now, he did not want to find out what they were. But he was no longer afraid. Itachi knew enough about himself now to know that there would never be another incident like the massacre unless he wanted it to happen.

He did not know what memories were waiting to strike him, but Itachi did not have to face them alone. Itachi had a little brother he could turn to if he wasn't able to handle his mind by himself.

Uchiha Obito.

Tobi.


	9. Enissophobia

A/N: The more chapters Kishimoto puts out, the more non-canon this becomes. Oh well. Either way, I still love the Tobito theory to death. Major thanks to all you wonderful reviewers! Special thanks to the two new c2s that added Wonder, T3h good ones, and The best literate Akatsuki stories. Enjoy chapter 9!

* * *

Wonder

IX. Enissophobia

Fear of Having Sinned

* * *

"So," Tobi said slowly, "my name used to be Uchiha… Otobi?"

"Uchiha Obito," Itachi corrected.

"Right. Thanks, nii-san," Tobi said. "And I was a chuunin in Konoha?"

"Yes."

It was past midnight, probably around two in the morning. All of the Akatsuki members present had gone to sleep long ago, claiming various corners on the bottom floor to curl up in (except for Hidan, who had gone to sleep with a pike in his chest in the middle of the symbol of Jashin).

Itachi and Tobi had not gone to sleep at all. They were in a corner of the balcony, sitting on the ground where several chairs had been removed, with a single flare between them so they could see. Tobi was wearing his mask again, fixed by Deidara so that it looked like nothing had ever happened to it. Itachi imagined he could almost see Tobi's Sharingan through the eyehole.

He had decided that if Tobi was an Uchiha, he needed to know that he was. So, Itachi had taken it upon himself to teach his new little brother all the things he had forgotten or never learned; Tobi had to be told about his past, when he had been known as Obito, and the history of Konoha since then. He also had to be told everything Itachi remembered about what he had done to their family.

"And my teammates were named Rin and Kakashi," Tobi said. "I was trying to save Rin when I was injured and left behind."

"Correct," Itachi said. Tobi was learning fast.

"I gave Kakashi one of my eyes, and after that…" Tobi tilted his head down, thinking. "What comes next, nii-san?"

"I don't know," Itachi said. "After that, Konoha assumed you were dead. You've been missing since."

"Huh. Zetsu-san must have found me around that time," Tobi said. He nodded once, decisively, satisfied that some of the holes in his memory had been filled in.

"Do you remember anything yet?" Itachi asked.

"I think so," Tobi said. "Kakashi had silver hair, right? And I think I remember some of Rin's face. But I don't remember Kakashi's face."

"Kakashi wears a face mask," Itachi said.

Tobi laughed. "That's why I don't remember his face! It was a red mask, wasn't it?"

"No."

"Oh."

Itachi easily imagined the dejected look on Tobi's face. "It's fine," Itachi said. "You did very well."

Tobi lifted his head, and for a moment the light from the flare illuminated his Sharingan. His eye shone with happiness. "Tobi is a good boy?"

"Yes. He is."

Pride radiated from Tobi. "Thanks, nii-san!"

Itachi allowed a small smile. For once, it came effortlessly. "Now then. About your sensei…"

Tobi sighed and resigned himself to Itachi's lesson. It was the first of many.

* * *

That night, Tobi had a dream. He told Itachi about it the next morning.

Tobi's dream was about his family – the Uchiha clan. In his dream, he was nine years old, and one of his relatives was teaching him to use a fire jutsu. At one point in the dream, the person training Tobi couldn't come, because his wife had just had a son.

Tobi remembered seeing the baby and watching the new father take care of it. And then, Tobi told Itachi, he remembered the name of the new father: Uchiha Fugaku.

Itachi's father. Tobi had been nine years old when Itachi was born. Itachi suddenly felt young.

Don't worry, Tobi had told Itachi, because maybe Itachi would start to remember some of the things he'd forgotten, like why he'd killed their clan. Tobi would help Itachi to remember, because that's what brothers were for.

Itachi wondered why he had spent so much time in his dreams hoping that Sasuke would help him. Sasuke had probably ceased to think of Itachi as his brother years ago.

Maybe it was time Itachi did the same.


	10. Sine Phobia

A/N: This is the final chapter. I've never finished a fic this long before (ten chapters!), and since I've been on here since 2002, this is pretty exciting and kinda sad for me at the same time.

Thank you all so, so much for your reviews, faves, alerts, c2s, and everything else! And please, if you're ever going to review this, I'd love it if you'd review the final chapter. It'd mean a ton to me if this fic could break 200 reviews. That way, I could be like Deidara and go out with a bang, haha.

When I wrote this chapter, Hebi hadn't even formed yet, so you can guess that there will be a few inconsistencies in timelines. I hope you enjoy this anyway!

* * *

Wonder

X. Sine Phobia

Without Fear

* * *

"Itachi? Hey! Nii-san! Guess what?"

"Moron, get back here!" Deidara shouted, but Tobi had already run out of his reach and was heading towards Itachi.

They were in a fairly large village near the Akatsuki base, large enough for a half-decent nightlife to form. Just after midnight, there were enough buildings open and lamps lit for them to see each other easily. None of the late-night pedestrians and partygoers approached the four Akatsuki members; they all recognized the coats in this place and didn't dare to approach them. This was a civilian village.

"Does it have to do with a new technique?" Itachi asked with a sigh, but half-smiled. Tobi did this every time they met. Itachi and Kisame had just gotten back from a mission, and Itachi hadn't seen Tobi in over a month. He would probably be talking for hours.

"Not even close!" Tobi stopped in front of Itachi and Kisame, bouncing on his feet with excitement. His hat almost fell off and he reached up with one hand to keep it on. Kisame chuckled and took a couple of steps back, both to allow Itachi and Tobi to have room to talk and to get a better view of the show. "Guess again!"

"You remembered something new?"

"Nope, try again."

"You said something smart, un?" Deidara suggested with a smirk, moving to stand beside Kisame.

"No way. You – hey!" Tobi turned towards Deidara and huffily crossed his arms. "That was mean!"

"We're Akatsuki, un. Mean is part of the job description."

"I know, but I'm your partner, Deidara-senpai…" Tobi sounded quite wounded.

Itachi sighed once more, and said, "I give up, Tobi. What happened?"

Tobi was quickly back to his usual cheerful self. "Okay, so, our mission was to track down Orochimaru's base, right? We didn't exactly find it, but we ran into all the Sound nin while they were changing locations."

"It's a miracle we found them at all," Deidara said. "It's an even bigger miracle we survived, un. Sound nin are tough and Tobi was worthless."

Before Tobi could start arguing with Deidara again, Itachi said, "Go on."

"Okay, nii-san!" Tobi said. "Anyway, you'll never guess who we ran into!"

"Orochimaru?" Itachi offered.

"No! Wait, yes," Tobi admitted. "But who else?"

Itachi shrugged.

"C'mon, I'll give you a hint!" Tobi said. "He has—"

"It was your brother, all right?" Deidara said. "That Sasuke kid, un. Black hair, skin like a corpse, and the weird red spinning eyes. There. Happy?"

"You're heartless!" Tobi whined.

"You're brainless, un," Deidara replied smugly.

Itachi looked sharply at Tobi. "You saw Sasuke? With Orochimaru?"

"Yup!" Tobi said, performing another magnificent mood swing from dejected to chipper.

"Hmm." Apparently, Orochimaru was still after the Sharingan. Itachi hoped that Sasuke was bright enough to get away before it was too late. "How was he?"

"He didn't seem very happy," Tobi said.

"He's crazy, un," Deidara added.

Kisame grinned. "I could have told you that."

"I know! What is it with Uchiha, un?" Deidara asked Kisame. "Every brat they spit out is either insane or retarded!"

"Hey, Itachi's not that stupid," Kisame said, smirking at his partner. Itachi ignored the comment.

"Itachi is on the insane end," Deidara said. "Do you know what he did to his own family?"

"So? That's not so bad. Do you know what it takes for a Mist nin to graduate the academy?" Kisame asked.

"No. Why? Isn't it doing a rain dance or something, un?"

"That's the Rain nin," Kisame said. His grin spread until it looked absolutely predatory. "C'mon, let's get a drink. I want to take my time with the explanation."

Itachi didn't envy Deidara. Within his first week with the Akatsuki, he had heard about the kid Kisame had killed in excruciating detail. Itachi had finally stumbled out of the tent to find some fresh air and a cold stream to dunk his head in when Kisame had started to describe what the kid's bones tasted like.

"So," Itachi said. "Sasuke wasn't happy. What else did you notice?"

"He's really strong," Tobi said. "And he's got a really cool jutsu he called chidori. I tried to memorize it, but it's hard to use. Want me to show you, nii-san?"

"Perhaps later," Itachi said. There were too many civilians nearby and he didn't want to attract attention.

"Okay, later," Tobi said. "Oh, and Sasuke saw that Deidara and me were in Akatsuki and he asked us to tell you something. He said that you'd better be training hard because he's coming for you. And then he called you…" Tobi hesitated. "Um, I don't want to say what he said. Tobi is too good for those words. It's the kind of stuff Hidan says, without the religion."

Itachi had to chuckle at that. Sasuke had changed. "That's all right, Tobi."

That answered a few of Itachi's questions. He knew how Sasuke was doing, he knew where Sasuke was living, and he knew that there was no chance now that Sasuke would forgive him. Tobi was lucky that Sasuke hadn't realized he was an Uchiha.

"Let's go train," Itachi said. "You can show me how to do chidori."

"Okay, nii-san," Tobi said, and fell into step beside Itachi as they headed out of the village. Itachi smiled to himself when Tobi started talking about absolute nonsense as they walked.

"Hey, have you ever heard of Kabuto? He was there when we found Orochimaru," Tobi was saying. "He wears these glasses, but they're really loose. You know, I don't think he needs them, because they fell off a couple of times. Hey, Itachi, do you know if there are people who wear glasses when they don't need them? Anyway, he kept following Orochimaru around. Orochimaru's got really weird eyes. Are they kekkei genkai, too? Zetsu-san said Orochimaru used to be in the Akatsuki, but he doesn't look like it…"

It was wonderful to have a brother again.

* * *

That night, Itachi had a dream.

It started the same as all his other dreams. He was trapped outside himself, watching as he slaughtered his clan, and only stopping to spare Sasuke. For the first time, the dream continued even after Sasuke had run away, crying in fear.

Itachi turned around, surveying the results of his massacre, and discovered a new person in his dream. Standing in the middle of the street was Uchiha Obito, gazing around himself, and crying. Itachi walked towards him, weapon lowered, and as he drew closer, he dropped his sword all together.

The noise startled Obito and he looked up. "I j-just had something in my eye," he said quickly, shoving his goggles onto his forehead. Itachi remained silent as Obito wiped his tearstained eyes.

When Obito was finished, he repositioned his goggles and looked around, at all that was left of the Uchiha clan. "It looks like I got here too late," he said.

Itachi said nothing for a long time. Finally, he said, "It seems so."

Obito sighed shakily. "I guess there's no reason we should stay here." He reached out, took Itachi's hand, and smiled. "Let's rebuild it together, nii-san."

Itachi slowly nodded. "All right," he said softly. "Together."

The two Uchiha walked out of the ruins of their clan to start anew.

For the first time in Itachi's memory, he did not wake up in the middle of the night, cold and terrified. He woke up at dawn, with the red morning sun shining warmth onto his face. Itachi stood and watched the sunrise for a long time, and then went to find his brother.

* * *

End


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